Teaching Martial Arts to “At-Risk Youth”

After my publication regarding teaching Baduanjin in a youth detention facility, I’ve received inquiries about the general subject of teaching  martial arts to young people in either detention facilities, or group-home type settings. Some, aikidoka, are interested in providing training to help these kids in reconciling conflict; some, taijiquan teachers, see a potential for moving meditation/mindfulness/centering, in their practice; some, BJJ practitioners, see their training as potentially teaching controlled self-defense (with rules), to help kids channel their natural aggressive drives in a sports context.. Teaching such kids, though, is not easy. As Geoff Thompson wrote to me after reviewing a 1st draft of this piece: “I have only worked a little with kids in youth detention, but I concur with everything you have said here.  I found it easier to work with murderers and drug barons in Cat 1 high-security prisons than with kids in detention.”

What follows are a list of ideas and criteria, things to think about if you intend to do such work. If you ignore any of these, at “best,” you will be of little help, and very likely, the kids will chew you up and spit you out.

1. I recommend that boys and girls not be taught together. We are talking about young people who, biologically speaking, are at the peak of their physical reproductive drive. In hunter-gatherer societies (our biological baseline/norm), boys and girls at this age sexually segregate, not only by cultural rules, but by natural inclination. Boys engage in testosterone display (‘peacocking’) and girls – not all, but many – test their power to direct young men’s attention to them, and also to get young men to compete over them. In particular, sexually abused girls – and terribly, in the detention world, that means the majority – have learned to sexualize their interactions with males as both a means of power and survival. Add to this the context – learning how to channel aggression through the ritual practice of fighting techniques (or at least, physical culture derived from fighting techniques), this can lead to very chaotic classes, particularly with kids who are singled out already as human beings who have difficulty controlling their impulses. [I am aware of people who have successfully taught coed classes in such settings, but do understand that you are adding a variable that will make things far more challenging – not only for you, but for the young people as well].
2.  Ideally, the instructor should be the same sex as the students. Both boys and girls need a model of a someone of their own gender worth respecting: a man or woman of dignity and integrity. To be sure, men teaching girls or women teaching boys is possible, but you are, again, adding a variable that can easily lead to problematic dynamics. (I am thinking of a concerned letter I once received about an in-patient eating disorder clinic for young women who had martial arts classes with a hyper-macho, tattooed body-builder kung fu “master.” Maybe he was a good man, but the way he presented himself in the links I was forwarded seemed to me to set up an unhealthy male-savior dynamic [at best!])
3. My preference is for the teacher to have workout clothes that are neat, but not keikko gi, hakama, kung fu “pajamas,” or other ‘alien’ garb. The kids will all be in uniform already: orange or green clothes, often enough. You should be identifiable by clothes that are neat and, week by week, have a theme: for example, dark pants and blue shirt (one of an infinity of alternatives), but whatever you chose is now your standard garb, one that identifies you.
4. You should establish some formality, but not overdone. If it is too flowery, dramatic or complicated, the kids will clown around and see if they can offend you. It can become a struggle for authority about an extraneous issue. That they stand in a line, and somehow ritualize the beginning: with a short phrase as a vow, if you are someone who works with rhythmic cadence; a bow to each other (this is not the time or place to construct an altar or to bring the picture of your sensei – just a bow from teacher to student); or perhaps, simply standing silently for thirty seconds or so (too long and once again, the kids will get silly, provocative or try to irritate you or each other).
5. This is not the place to teach maiming techniques: wrestling/grappling without locks and chokes, kata or flow drills are your best options. When they ask how to break an arm, etc., you must very clearly state that this is is not about that at all. When it comes up, you have to be able to say, “Is there anyone in here who can’t fight?” (No one will admit that!). And then point out that why they are in a program, in detention,  is very likely a lack of control, a  lack of an ability to read others intentions, a lack of an ability to judge situations, and maybe most important, a lack of an ability to get out of situations while keeping respect – one’s own and others.  This practice is, through pattern drills, about acquiring these skills, something you should explicitly state.   I used to say: “Look, all it’s going to take is one of you guys to mess up. We have a program here that is fun and helps you learn; if nothing else, at least you are out of your cell/room for an hour or so.  And anyway, can you imagine what the papers would do with  “person hurt in fight by student trained in martial arts in detention?” I joke, “I’d lose my job! So, I’m not going to teach you anything that would make that happen!”
6. You have to stop kids right at the beginning when they do kung fu imitations, spar, etc. Sometimes, one or more kids will have to be removed from the class right at the beginning (they can come back the next class, if they commit to behaving), if they won’t stop such behavior.
7. If you need to show that YOU could do that stuff if you wanted to, you are posturing to gain creditability. In other words, don’t be shadow boxing when the kids come in; don’t tie a kid up in knots with your aikido joint techniques or grappling skills; don’t, when asked, kick beside someone’s head or even at a high point on the wall. The creditability you should hope to attain, the respect you should hope to receive is as a calm, powerful adult with nothing to prove to a bunch of kids.
8. You need to interview supervisory staff to get an understanding of the culture of the institution, and the politics and rules among the youth. In particular, you need to know which kids don’t get along. Are kids bringing outside gang disputes into the institution? Are there “in-house” cliques. In some cases, it is impossible to teach cross-cliques together. In some detention facilities I have visited, there are groups that have a “fight-on-sight” rule regarding other sets. In this wise, you may have to be prepared to cut your losses; gang culture in some institutions can be so tenacious that it is impossible for young people to work together in any setting.  [My thanks to Peter Kelly, former correctional officer and martial artist for a reminder of this essential point].
9. You need to go over – in detail – what the emergency procedures are in the institution. You need to have a clear understanding of how staff will protect your class, the kids and if things kick off among the youth, you. You may be a fabulous martial artist, but control of kids in an institution is a specialized study, governed by very strict laws, varying from setting to setting (restraint policies in a group home are VERY different from those in a locked-down detention facility). Maybe you can defend yourself, but can you defend yourself in the lawsuit that follows? Of course, you do not abrogate your legal right to self-defense, but you need to be very clear what the rules are, and also clear that staff takes responsibility to keep anything from kicking off in the first place.
10. You need to have a clear understanding how the institution as a whole functions – its rules, its goals and expectations. You also need to understand how involved staff see your role. For example, as described in the linked article in the beginning of this essay, Carola Schmid and I were asked to teach classes with the goal that, in general, critical incidents would be reduced throughout the facility. This was successful. If, however, you do not have an understanding of the goals of the agency (and were in agreement with them), you will be working at cross-purposes. You must never be seen as undermining good order within the institution, be it group home or detention facility.
11. The kids must respect you, or you are doomed from the start and you will be doomed throughout. These kids make an equation of power with intimidation, fear, etc.  You must refuse to get sucked in to this equation. They will test you by clowning around, by passive-aggressive non-compliance, by ‘what are you going to do’ defiance, by any number of irritating tactics. If they perceive you as getting angry, of losing your calm, you will have demonstrate, that, ‘at best,’ you are an adult version of them. Ideally, your voice almost never be raised: for these kids, every time they have disturbed you, they have won. Even though their ‘victory’ is a trivial short-term phenomena, according to their worldview, that have owned you in that moment.When necessary, you must have staff remove troublemakers, and you do so very calmly throughout. You must engender a kind of respect that is not based on intimidation. These kids, for the most part, have been robbed, since birth, from true adults in their life, people to toowhom they can look up. It is a tragedy that it may have to be you – while they are locked up. But if you can give them an experience of being in the presence of someone who is powerful without using intimidation to put them in a one-down position, this, more than anything you may teach, may impact their lives. Think of the great boxing coaches, like Ray Arcel, Eddie Futch, or Harry Wiley Sr. Study them, study how they worked with the young men they ushered to greatness. These men are, in this context, a more reliable model than most great martial arts instructors.
12. That said, if a kid crosses a line and goes to violate or hurt another, you should have staff on-hand to do so. If you, personally, ever have to physically intervene, the ideal would be that you do so with the implacable calm of a boulder slowly rolling down a slope: unstoppable, impervious to the resistance of anything (anybody) in your path. (And even if successful, it should be regarded as an institutional failure that you, rather than staff, had to get involved).
13. Accept your losses. Some kids can’t handle it.  You will have some with fetal alcohol syndrome or severe ADHD who are just too disruptive.  You may also have a young sociopath who cannot resist trying to hurt others.  You have to do good screening in the beginning, or at least try to do so with the institution you are working, and be willing, for the sake of the group, to cut out kids who will not get with the program.
14. If you cannot present yourself as a mountainous alpha male or female (not in size, but in demeanor) – a warm TRUE adult facing children, you will not succeed.  If you try to be nice, try to ingratiate yourself, try to be their friend or confidant, if you try to be hip and talk the street talk, you will be treated with well-deserved scorn behind their smiles.  You will accomplish nothing whatsoever.
15. The core of what you teach  should be about control, about not being controlled by others, and how martial arts helps you accomplish this (I used to say: “Don’t you hate it when someone makes you mad? There you were, minding your own business and someone does something and you are mad and you didn’t even want to be mad. If you practice and master these skills, you will only get mad when you need to get mad . . .  when you choose to get mad.”). Why do I not suggest you frame this as helping them to not get angry altogether? In their world, they view the possibility of having their anger taken away from them as disarming them. Framing things as a choice remains within a worldview where power is necessary to survive.

My gratitude to Geoff Thompson and Peter Kelly for providing vital feedback for this essay.

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