God is anything you need right now (Charles Bukowski)
Recently, a conversation came to mind, one between myself and Terry Dobson. For anyone who doesn’t know, Terry was, for a year or so, a live-in student at the Aikikai Headquarters Dojo, sometime between 1960 and 1962. A little more than a decade later, I lived in his dojo in NYC for about a year. He was definitely my teacher, but at the same time, we were in a relationship vaguely between paternal, fraternal and friends. This conversation pretty well exemplifies Terry and my relationship, but I think it also highlights the truth about all the pronouncements by Ueshiba’s students about what he really meant and what he taught. The first part of the story was part of Terry’s schtick, a lead-in to his teaching where he claimed that the movements of aikido were physical metaphors that both explained how to achieve peace on earth, and through the practice of them, gave the procedure to achieve it. It was in a conversation between us one day that he tacked on the second portion, that of the 2nd aikido instructor.
“When O-sensei was dying, he had each of his deshi, his disciples, called to him to him, and one by one, we visited him at his futon which was, his deathbed. I knelt down beside him, and he took my hand, looked me in the eyes, and said, “Onegai shimasu.” (“I beg you to do me the kindness.”). I left thinking,’To do what!!!!? After all these years of devotion, that’s it!!!!?’ ‘Onegai shimasu’ !!!!!!! But then, it came to me. He was being absolutely clear. I realized that he meant that I was to bring the heart of his mission to the West, to bring this art that offered the possibility of peace between all people on the earth. Ellis, he said it all right there. He had given me everything in his teaching, every time he threw me. It was all there. And he asked me to pass it onwards to the world.”
At this point, Terry took a long hit on a joint, blew out the smoke, and shook his head.
“So, one thing I don’t get–right after me in the line to say goodbye was an old deshi, one of the old guard, a gnarly mean old man, and I couldn’t believe it! He came out smiling, and he said to me, “I knew it! O-sensei said to me that the essence of aikido is killing your enemies.”
To which I replied, “Ueshiba probably said, ‘Onegai shimasu.'”
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